So, on Wednesday we had our first Home Study appointment.  This appointment was a big deal to us.  We had been anticipating it and preparing for it for a while and feel like it was our first big step towards the reality of adopting.

The Social Worker counseled us about legal issues to be aware of, gave us advice about things to be aware of when a birth mother is interested in us, how we would feel about adopting multiples – yes, she meant twins –  and told us about classes available to us through Hawaii International Child.  After the counseling portion, we were asked a series of questions as a couple and individually.  Mostly, they had to do with why we want to adopt and our lives growing up, along with verifying information on our application.  Pretty simple.  She was very nice and seemed genuinely concerned about our decision to adopt and assured us that she is available to help in any way.  Good appointment.

The second we got into our car, I started to feel overwhelmed with discouragement.  I know it sounds ironic because our appointment went so well.  I wasn’t having a pity party; I was just simply sad and discouraged.  No one I know has had their lives examined with a microscope while they were pregnant, preparing for their first child.  For the most part, if someone gets pregnant, it’s assumed they are capable of caring for the baby and expected to be prepared on all levels before the baby comes.  I know there are the rare cases where the state does have to get involved, and those situations are heart-breaking and unfortunate, but definitely not the norm.  I’m just saying that I understand, support and appreciate the process of making sure not just any Joe Schmoe can adopt a baby, but in the thick of it, it can become sort of intruding and degrading.  It’s just the way it is.  And I accept it.

Please understand that I’m not complaining.  I’m only trying to do my best to express the feelings our first Home Study brought out.

Dan, as usual, had the perfect words of comfort and truth to share with me.

“A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” John 16:21

Morning sickness, backaches, swollen feet, sleepless nights, heartburn, peeing every 10 minutes, overall discomfort and the most painful part, labor, doesn’t happen with adoption.  But I think we’re going to experience different types of labor/pregnancy pains.  Our “pain” or “anguish” is going to effect mostly our emotions.  The preparing, the waiting, the disappointment of a birthmother not working out and the unknown.

But, oh my goodness gracious, it is so going to be worth it when some sweet baby from a selfless woman is placed in our arms to love and care for forever.   None of this pain or anguish will be remembered.  Thank you, Jesus, for the comfort and hope Your Word brings.

Just for fun,  I came across this band called “Casper Babypants” on another blog and I fell in love with them.  Their goal is to make children’s music that kids will love and parents enjoy listening to.  Check out their video about visiting Hawaii.  The video is slightly strange, but the song is super cute.